


Seeing Her Clearly

by fateague



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-30
Updated: 2016-12-31
Packaged: 2018-09-13 11:04:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9120838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fateague/pseuds/fateague
Summary: Reposted from my Fanfiction.net account, cmd456"You are in the Garden of Lonely Children, in the tell-tale Forest of Dreams. Here, things appear as they really are."





	1. Ivy-Covered Memories

Snow walks silently and with determination. She's managed to escape the castle without alerting Charming or the dwarves, but it won't take them very long to realize she is missing, so she has to move fast.

The forest is different at night--mystical. A quality hangs in the air that makes her shiver and wonder at it in awe. It is the queen that has brought her here so far into the night. She wants the whole story--the entire picture. Her stepmother has been an enigma for far too long. There must have been something more to compel the once kind-hearted, gentle savior of Snow's childhood to become the vicious and malignant woman that she is now. It has to be more than just the spilled secret.

A sharp pang of guilt causes the princess to wince. She is the reason the stable boy is dead. Several tears slip down Snow's cheeks. Daniel had been kind to her, had given her a riding lesson as a thank you for keeping their secret...only, she hadn't. She'd told Cora. She'd written his death sentence.

Just as she'd nearly written Regina's. Charming had been utterly confused as to why she would even entertain the thought of letting the queen live. He'd told her that she has to stop being naive and accept the fact that the Regina she so fondly remembers was gone--dead--replaced by a murderer.

But it is that compelling feeling in her gut that is driving her to her destination. A place of legends, where all becomes clear.

"Who disturbs me?"

Snow halts, nearly running into a tall figure standing in her path. The figure starts to circle around her, a cloak hiding its face from view, though by the pitch of the voice, she's certain it's a man.

"Answer me!" he bellows.

"I'm Snow White," she answers. She's tempted to grab her bow from around her body, but ultimately decides it would not be wise--most guardians wield some type of magic.

"You have come here for what purpose, Snow White?" The cloaked figure continues to circle her, as if to get every detail.

"I wish to see someone clearly."

He finally stops circling her, halting just shy of her peripheral vision. And suddenly, she's no longer in the forest, but in a moonlit garden full of wild flowers and weeds and tall grass. A fountain covered in ivy and honeysuckle sits in the center of the garden, though it can't possibly be honeysuckle. She's never seen a honeysuckle vine with blue orbs in the centers of its flowers.

"Where am I?" Snow asks as she takes a step closer to the decaying fountain.

"You are in the Garden of Lonely Children, in the tell-tale Forest of Dreams," the guardian tells her. "Here, things appear as they really are."

She turns to look at him, confusion written plainly on her features. "But the person I want to know about isn't a child."

"She was a child at some point, no?" He begins to advance towards the vine-covered fountain, and Snow begins to follow when his choice of gender finally dawns on her.

"I never said it was a girl."

He turns, and Snow senses he's smiling, even though she can't see his face. A soft chuckle escapes from the cloak, a sound of disbelief and amusement. "Princess, I know all of my garden's occupants. You're in her memories," he says.

It's an idea that almost causes Snow to smile, but she knows the memories of her will not be happy or pleasant ones. It never escaped her as a girl when her stepmother would cringe at the sound of her name coming from Snow's tongue, the forced smiles she gave when presented with the task of entertaining her young stepdaughter.

"Come, Snow White, and see her clearly."


	2. Lonely Little Beastie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snow enters Regina's memories

"She looks like Henry."

Snow cringes at the words. Cora--it's most certainly Cora--stands over an ornate white crib, staring that the content that resides within its hold. A man stands next to her, on Snow is almost quite sure she should know.

"What a shame. I had quite high hopes she would at least be attractive when she grew older."

The two leave, shutting the door forcefully behind them. A small and timid wail erupts from the crib and Snow gently creeps closer to it. What she sees is the furthest thing from unattractive. The baby's face is soft and round, her skin the color of cream. Full pink lips create a cupid's bow of a mouth. A head full of dark hair, fine and softly curling at the ends. The queen has been beautiful since birth it would seem.

She reaches to stroke the soft, supple skin when a cloud of crimson smoke startles her. Snow scrambles back to her original hiding place. They may only be memories, but she's not going to take any chances with the Dark One. She watches as Rumplestiltskin silently stalks over to the crib, a cruel smile appearing on his lips as he sees the wooden structures resident.

"Lonely little beastie, aren't you?"

Snow watches with trepidation as the imp of a man picks up the little bundle that will become the Evil Queen. But the baby doesn't make a sound, content to just be held it would seem. She wonders if Cora had ever held Regina, if she ever cuddled her when she cried. Probably not.

The last thing she sees is Rumple place the infant back in her white prison and say words that may haunt Snow for the rest of her life:

"Lonely you are, and lonely you shall always be."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Oh, you stupid creature! Look what you've done!"

Cora always made Snow cringe, but hearing words like that makes her cringe harder--especially at the fact that they're aimed at a tadller with dark ringlets and sticky fingers.

It's clear little Regina has gotten into something or other, and being a child, not thinking what would happen to her mother's dress should those sticky appendages come into contact with it. Now the little fingers are twisting each other nervously, and a pouty bottom lip trembles in fear.

"I'm sorry, Mommy, I just--"

Snow screams when a hand collides with the innocent child's cheek. Of course, no one hears her, it's a memory. But someone must have heard the sharp cry come from the little girl, for only moments later, a well-dressed man enters the chamber, a concerned look on his face.

"My dear, is everything alright?"

It must be Henry, Snow surmises. Regina's father. She remembers him as a kind man, a man faithful and loyal to his daughter, whatever her pursuit. Snow had spent a little time with him here and there when she had been a child.

Snow is drawn from her recallings back to the memory when Cora snatches up the white gown and tosses it into the unlit fireplace. She lights a fire in her hands before hurling it at the white fabric, watching it burn with a deep scowl on her face.

"Everything is fine," the woman snaps. She motions for someone to enter the chamber, and a servant girl steps over the threshold. "Take her to her room and lock the door when you leave."

Henry steps forward, his hand reaching towards his wife's shoulder. "Cora--"

"Get out, Henry."

Snow is appalled when he says nothing more and leaves. Had he not seen the red, hand-shaped welt on his daughter's face? Had he not seen her pleading look as he turned his back and exited the room?

Apparently not, for the maid scoops up the young girl and whisks her out of her mother's chambers. Snow follows with a heavy heart, tears coming in twos and threes as she watches Regina's little face begin to bruise. But the amount of tears she sheds now are nothing to the amount shed when Snow lays eyes on what constitutes as Regina's room.

A large bed and single straight-backed chair are the sole occupants of the chamber. The child is placed roughly in the chair and left, the sound of the lock clicking into place echoing in the nearly empty room.

Tears come in torrents as she watches the little child climb up onto the large bed and huddle down on top of its covers. Tears flow like waterfalls as Snow listens to the lonely girl sing herself to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys are enjoying it!
> 
> long live the MUSE


	3. Birthdays Unknown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More of Snow in Regina's memories. The queen is getting older now.

Snow finds herself in a field of wildflowers when she opens her eyes. She looks around her and spies the familiar estate to the north of where she stands. It doesn't take her long to spot Regina. She's grown again, and is happily chasing the sunlight, laughing and giggling as she plays. She stops only briefly to hug a tree and whisper to it.

"Hello, tree. Did you know today is my birthday?"

And it's in that moment that Snow wishes she had stayed in bed with her fiance instead of traipsing through Regina's godforsaken memories. For a child must truly be lonely to tell a tree it's their birthday.

Snow has never had a reason to tell anyone or anything it was her birthday--everyone and everything already knew. Her nanny, Johanna, the servants, the guards, the cooks, her mother and father, and even Regina had always remembered the date and were always prepared with gifts and well-wishes. Snow doubts very much that anyone in yonder estate has an inkling of what today is, and it tore her heart to shreds.

"Mother got angry when I told her, but that's okay, because she said my present was I could go outside without her."

What beast of a mother gets angry over their child's birthday? Snow's opinion of Cora grew less and less with each new memory she saw. She watches as the younger version of her stepmother continues to frolic through the tall blossoms, humming and giggling.

Suddenly, Snow's overcome with the most awful feeling. She doesn't know when the queen's birthday is. They had never celebrated it when her father was alive, and she had never thought to ask Regina.

What must it feel like to have no one know the one day that can make you just the slightest bit happy? Snow tries to think of a day when Regina's smile had been just a little more hopeful, a little less sad. But she can't. They all blend together in a mass of sad and forced shows of affection. Oh how she wishes she had never gone to that blasted garden! Oh, to be ignorant once more!

Tears come in steady streams as she watches Regina laugh and sing, free of pain, but not of loneliness. Rumple's words ring in her ears as the memory slowly fades away.

"Lonely you are, and lonely you shall always be."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"How dare you leave without my permission!"

Snow is getting rather tired of being greeted by Cora's cold, harsh words. Why couldn't any of these damn memories have a pleasant start to them? She watches a now blossoming Regina fidgets with one of the few remaining buttons on the girl's dirty and torn dress.

"Daddy said--"

The girl is promptly cut off by a swift slap to the face. But despite the cruel action of her mother, Regina remains calm, raising her hand only to cover the reddening cheek.

They are in the estate's stables, a place not unfamiliar to Snow. She looks around her, and it's then that she spots the young figure peeking his head out from behind the stall door. It must be him...it has to be!

"You dare to think your father has any say in how you are raised?"

Regina's eyes remain fixed on her scuffed and muddy shoes. "I only wanted to play with the other children, Mother."

Before Snow can even register what has happened, Regina stumbles back, blood coming from where she grips her mouth. Snow nearly loses the contents of her stomach when she sees the riding whip in Cora's hand, its edge tainted with the blood of the struck child. She watches in horror as Regina's hand is cruelly snatched away from her face, revealing the deep gash left in her upper lip.

Cora flings with whip aside and grabs her daughter firmly by the shoulders, forcing her to straighten her back, though the young girl's lips still tremble and her eyes dart around in fear.

"You will remember your place, Regina, or my next punishment will not be so kind."

Snow wishes in that moment it was not a memory she was witnessing, for she would surely kill this wretched witch without a second thought. She watches the woman leave and longs to gather the sobbing girl into her arms. To hold her close and whisper words of comfort. But she suspects someone in this memory is going to do the job for her.

Snow watches as he slowly creeps out from his hiding place, and his timid steps do not alert Regina to his presence. But his small hand on her shaking shoulder does the trick, and Regina jumps away from the contact. Snow pays close attention as the almost teenaged girl whirls around to face the owner of the hand, watches as a young, giddy smile graces the tear- and blood-stained features.

"Hello, Regina."

"Daniel."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> long live the MUSE

**Author's Note:**

> long live the Muse


End file.
